New Year….

….. same me.

Completely pessimistic? Or just realistic?

I’ve always been one for New Year’s Resolutions. I like the idea of writing down a personal goal checklist for the upcoming year on a nice, clean white piece of paper….

…Whoops, I spelled something incorrectly. I better re-write it…What if I instead wrote the list on the first few pages of a new journal-then I track my progress throughout the year…I need to buy a journal…Barnes and Noble has the best, I need to go to Salisbury…Nah, I don’t think I want to keep it in a journal, maybe on my computer…Should I use Word or Evernote?…Actually, I’m going to type the list up in fun fonts and post it on my refrigerator so I can see it every day…Hmm, it’s Wednesday. I think I’ll start keeping these resolutions on Monday; new week, fresh start…On second thought, I don’t want that list for all to see. I’m going to hand-write it again and keep it in my nightstand. Those fonts just aren’t fun anymore… 

…And I look up and it’s March 25th and those resolutions are collecting dust bunnies under the bed because that’s where the final list landed and I haven’t bothered to yet retrieve it. Ironically, cleaning under the bed was probably on that list.

Sigh. There’s always next year.

So this go-round, I want things to be different.

First and foremost, I need to shake loose the incredible amount of pressure I put on myself. New Year’s Day isn’t an episode of Extreme Makeover or Biggest Loser or any other variety of reality “make-me-it-he-she-better-happier-thinner” television show. Nothing magical is going to happen when the clock strikes midnight. I don’t think I’ll suddenly have the urge to go for a late night run after reorganizing my attic and removing all chocolate from the house. I don’t know if any of those things would even happen in the first week. And that’s okay. “Resolution” is a course of action determined or decided on (so sayeth freedictionary.com). It’s a journey. Nobody is expecting me to kick my bad habits in one day.

Second, I want to rethink what I’m adding to this “course of action”, or more importantly, how I’m presenting it. When I jot things down like ‘Lose Weight’, ‘Exercise More’, ‘Get Organized’, ‘Spend Less’…am I really just making a list of all the ways I feel I have failed during the previous year?  Seems like a crummy way to start 2014, bringing all that baggage to the party.

Third, I don’t want to be counting down the minutes to 2015 with the ghost of Resolutions Past hanging over my head. The world will not end if I went the entire year without cracking open the copy of War and Peace that has been sitting on my bookshelf for the last three years, mocking me. 

I was Google-ing alternatives to New Year’s resolutions and stumbled across this great article, Five Things You Can Do Instead of New Year’s Resolutions. I particularly liked numbers two (List your favorite memories and triumphs of 2013), four (Make a list of what you are grateful for in your life), and five (Make a 2014 commitment to someone else).

I don’t know about you, but I can’t recall a time when my resolutions list wasn’t all about me-me-me.

So after some thought, I’ve come up with my 2014 Course of Action. I  reserve the right to add to (as well as remove from) this list at any time of my choosing. I will remind myself that I have 364 days left in this year. I will remember that there will be some days, like today, when this all seems exciting and shiny and realistic,…and other days when I will think the entire concept is complete bollocks. And that’s okay.

1. In 2014, I would like to do three things that scare me. I don’t know what they would be; singing in public, speaking to a group larger than two people, going spelunking? But if the opportunity presents itself to try something terrifying, I want to do it.
2. In 2014, I would like to read through the entire Bible. (I fought the urge to write “finally read through…”. Positive energy, only).
3. In 2014, I would like to write to my Sponsor Child on a regular basis. Truth be told, I’ve been sponsoring a child from India for several months and haven’t written her a single letter. I didn’t think it mattered much until I was speaking with my good pals Kelly and Lee; she’s actually been asked to write to children whose sponsors don’t write them. Turns out it does matter.
4. In 2014, I would like to be less selfish with my time.
5. In 2014, I would like to be a better listener and slower responder-er. (I’m pretty sure that’s not actually a word, but it conveys what I’m trying to say.)
6. In 2014, I would like to limit the amount of time I spend on my phone, particularly when I’m with friends or family. My Facebook feed can wait. That text message doesn’t need to be read immediately. I don’t have to respond to every buzz, beep, and ding. I want to be present, in the present, with those who are present.
7. In 2014, I would like to run a 5k.
8. In 2014, I would like to eat less processed foods and cook a bit more. Maybe even buy a cookbook and prepare something I’ve never had before.
9. In 2014, I would like to focus on one project at a time, big or small, and complete it before moving on to the next.
10. In 2014, I would like to spend less time on brain-numbing-television (which hurts. I love my DVR!), and more time tackling the stacks of books I promised myself I would get to last year, and the year before, and the year before that.

Ten seems like a nice, round number to start off the new year.

So, as January 1, 2014 comes to a close, I’m going to kick back and eat a bag of salt-n-vinegar chips and watch the season premier of Dance Moms. Because even though it’s a new year, it’s still the same me. And that’s okay.